Allison Grodner,
Executive producer on CBS’ hit reality series Big Brother and the inspiration behind the character we know all as Harry Potter’s Hagrid — I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You’re scum between my toes! Love, Alfalfa. I mean…
Can you do me a favor and stop rigging the show in favor of Jeff and Jordan, you Goliath looking fatty McFatterson???!!! I’m so close to throwing my hands 1/3 around your trunk of a neck and tickling what I am sure is your adam’s apple. THIS close. I am absolutely furious. And who the hell did you think your fat a** was kidding. Brendon is back in the house as America’s choice? REALLY? America HATES the Brenchel couple!!! You just knew having them in the house would keep the target off of Jeff and Jordan, didn’t you? I don’t care if that dumb hypocrite Jeff and BB’s greatest floater Jordan is America’s favorite couple. EFFE THEM!!! If any of the four win the half million dollar prize I swear I’ll take that dragon away. Now make amends and turn from your wicked ways by helping Queen Dani and her alliance get further in the game!
The very least you can do is relay some of messages to the remaining houseguest:
Shelly:
You leather face old hag. Suck Jeff’s ____. Might as well since you’re so far up his ___. And you watch FOX “News.” I can’t be friends with anyone that watches that trash. BTW you look like a dike. Justin Beiber wishes he looked like you.
Dani:
Beautiful and wonderful queen, our prayers have been answered! Against all odds you have managed to win HOH once again! Take the house by the throat and gut them open, leaving no survivors. Your beauty is versatile. You are gorgeous as a natural blonde and as a dark brunette.
Porsche:
Stay strong! Follow the Queen’s lead and don’t look back. You have made the best decision in leaving Rachel to join our loving Queen in getting to the final two! Luxurious VIP waitress FTW!!!
Kalia:
You’re fat. I should have known you’d make bad decisions. As long as you are with the Queen… But what a WASTE of a week. Your HOH was completely useless and it actually took you and your alliance a step back! UGH!
Jeff:
You’re not fat, but if your personality was a person I’m sure it would be. VERY FAT. So frickin bitter, has a bad temper, can’t spell, and a hypocrite.
Jordan:
You can’t even tell time. You’re nice, but you can’t be afford to be anything else.
Brandon:
I wish Evel Dick was still on the show to humiliate you and deflate that ego of yours. You should have just gone home.. then you could have been on skype and continue to _____ for other girls while your fiance, Rachel, is in the house. You insufferable prick.
Rachel:
You’re really ugly and you play a terrible social game. You’re a joke. DIAF. I love watching you crumble!!! I didn’t mean it. You’re still the red queen. I just prefer Dani, so you’re on the back burner.
