Beth: Sara got promoted, so that corner cubicle is free.
Schmidt: (Looks over and reevaluates the space.) Ugh, so much kick-back space…
Beth: And you know, Gina personally invited me to her babyshower tonight. So that corner cubicle? That’s all mine! (Walks away.)
Schmidt: What the, Bond villan. You just told me your whole plan.
Schmidt and Nick on Midori Sours
Schmidt: Did you see that cleavage? I wanna get my arm stuck down in there, like 127 Hours style.
Jess: I’m looking forward to having sex tonight.
Paul: Yeah. Sex is da bomb! (laughs nervously) Sorry… I just sounded like a guy from Entourage.
Schmidt looking out for Jess’ model friend, Cece.
Nick: You know what sucks about getting older? Your friends have known you for way too long. They’ve got too much on you. I want friends who still lie to me, ‘cause they don’t want to hurt my feelings. Sadly, I mean that.
Spencer: What happens if I say no?
Schmidt: You know what happens? SCHMIDT happens! (hits Spencer)
Spencer: OW, what was on your hand?
Schmidt: THUMB RING, bitch! You have some Schmidt on your face!
Jess: (Puts lace underwear on her head, in a southern accent) Mr. Darcey’s going to love my new bonnet.
